The Two Potential CEO’s in Family Business
01/21/2021
In every business there are official titles as well as unofficial ones. Common official titles include CFO’s, CEO’s, Presidents, VP’s, Managers, Supervisors and a host of others. In fact some companies are getting very creative with the titles to different positions. There are now “Directors of Engagement,” “Culture Wizards,” “Head Cat Herders” and “Employee Support and Service Directors.”
The traditional Chief Executive Officer (CEO) is ultimately in charge of the entire business. They lead the other leaders and managers in the company, create and implement the vision, mission and strategic plan, ensure profitability and hold their key people accountable to do their jobs.
The people in the company look up to the CEO and expect them to be logical and thoughtful decision makers, to lead their people with humility, use discernment and grace, and have high levels of emotional maturity in every interaction. They earned their position through consistent performance, proven leadership, and the confidence of their peers.
The other type of CEO is the Chief Emotional Officer. This person can be anyone in the business. Whereas the traditional CEO uses their position of leadership to move the business forward in a strategic, deliberate and professional manner, the Chief Emotional Officer exerts their influence through emotional leverage.
This emotional leverage is manifested in many ways. They may work overtly in meetings, small group discussions and one-on-one conversations by being very insistent on getting what they want. They do this through emotional outbursts, passive aggressive behavior, not allowing others to speak, or may even walk out of meetings when their input is essential to making a final decision.
They may also leverage decisions through the use of emotionally immature behaviors like gossip, creating drama and the use of artificial harmony. Artificial harmony occurs when they participate in meetings and discussions where decisions are being made and deliberately choose to not offer their opinion during those discussions, even though they have strong preferences as to how the decision should be made. They appear to be in harmony with the group, but after the meeting they covertly go to others who are not involved in the discussions, and deliberately sabotage the decision that was made.
This behavior must be modified, and the first step in changing this behavior is for leadership to recognize them in their infancy and address them immediately. When individuals with these tendencies begin to use them, and this inappropriate behavior is not remedied immediately, they soon learn that even with no significant authority in the company they can have great leverage and influence.
Addressing this situation can be even more difficult if this Chief Emotional Officer is the spouse of an owner, the son or daughter of a partner or owner, or any other family member. Occasionally they are not a family member and have simply positioned themselves as an individual with tremendous influence in the business, even though they may or may not have an official title.
One rule that every leader should follow is, “Never let the person with the lowest level of emotional maturity in the organization be involved in the decision-making process.”
If the individual is confronted by leadership about these behaviors and they choose to continue their inappropriate actions without making the necessary adjustments, they need to be removed from those situations where this behavior has any influence. This means they are no longer included in decision-making discussions, they could be removed from a leadership or management position, and they might be put on probation for a period of time to be given additional opportunities to modify their behavior.
As their consultant, these are difficult and unfortunate situations that we may need to help our clients navigate. The process requires our patience, listening skills and diligence.
What are other ways that you help your clients address these situations?
Don Tyler
Tyler & Associates
These opinions and commentary are Don Tyler’s own. They are not necessarily those of ASAC or its members.
In every business there are official titles as well as unofficial ones. Common official titles include CFO’s, CEO’s, Presidents, VP’s, Managers, Supervisors and a host of others. In fact some companies are getting very creative with the titles to different positions. There are now “Directors of Engagement,” “Culture Wizards,” “Head Cat Herders” and “Employee Support and Service Directors.”
The traditional Chief Executive Officer (CEO) is ultimately in charge of the entire business. They lead the other leaders and managers in the company, create and implement the vision, mission and strategic plan, ensure profitability and hold their key people accountable to do their jobs.
The people in the company look up to the CEO and expect them to be logical and thoughtful decision makers, to lead their people with humility, use discernment and grace, and have high levels of emotional maturity in every interaction. They earned their position through consistent performance, proven leadership, and the confidence of their peers.
The other type of CEO is the Chief Emotional Officer. This person can be anyone in the business. Whereas the traditional CEO uses their position of leadership to move the business forward in a strategic, deliberate and professional manner, the Chief Emotional Officer exerts their influence through emotional leverage.
This emotional leverage is manifested in many ways. They may work overtly in meetings, small group discussions and one-on-one conversations by being very insistent on getting what they want. They do this through emotional outbursts, passive aggressive behavior, not allowing others to speak, or may even walk out of meetings when their input is essential to making a final decision.
They may also leverage decisions through the use of emotionally immature behaviors like gossip, creating drama and the use of artificial harmony. Artificial harmony occurs when they participate in meetings and discussions where decisions are being made and deliberately choose to not offer their opinion during those discussions, even though they have strong preferences as to how the decision should be made. They appear to be in harmony with the group, but after the meeting they covertly go to others who are not involved in the discussions, and deliberately sabotage the decision that was made.
This behavior must be modified, and the first step in changing this behavior is for leadership to recognize them in their infancy and address them immediately. When individuals with these tendencies begin to use them, and this inappropriate behavior is not remedied immediately, they soon learn that even with no significant authority in the company they can have great leverage and influence.
Addressing this situation can be even more difficult if this Chief Emotional Officer is the spouse of an owner, the son or daughter of a partner or owner, or any other family member. Occasionally they are not a family member and have simply positioned themselves as an individual with tremendous influence in the business, even though they may or may not have an official title.
One rule that every leader should follow is, “Never let the person with the lowest level of emotional maturity in the organization be involved in the decision-making process.”
If the individual is confronted by leadership about these behaviors and they choose to continue their inappropriate actions without making the necessary adjustments, they need to be removed from those situations where this behavior has any influence. This means they are no longer included in decision-making discussions, they could be removed from a leadership or management position, and they might be put on probation for a period of time to be given additional opportunities to modify their behavior.
As their consultant, these are difficult and unfortunate situations that we may need to help our clients navigate. The process requires our patience, listening skills and diligence.
What are other ways that you help your clients address these situations?
Don Tyler
Tyler & Associates
These opinions and commentary are Don Tyler’s own. They are not necessarily those of ASAC or its members.
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